Better

Before I was a doula I was a your pretty average first time mother. I had no idea what I was doing, and muddled along, ordered too much take out, and sat my son in front the television a bit much. I was grumpy about how my birth went and depressed about just about everything about how my parenting journey went from lack of support, to why isn't my child developing the way everyone else child seems to? That last bit hasn't changed much to be honest.
Now I am a doula so much has changed. The first assignment I ever submitted was my nutrition assignment, which made me think about our diets, within a week it had changed, suddenly I was making everything from nothing not just our bread. If we can't afford fresh we eat from cans not ideal but does the trick. A smoothie a day, with leafy green veg, fruit and oats has managed to give us the best winter yet for bugs. Pumpkin soup which I had never tried to make before is now my favorite food, and I feel better already.
Then came my books reports, the variety of books taught me the importance of following my body's lead, it didn't stop with my assigned books I started to watch documentaries on birth, health, emotional well being, stress, everything I could get my hands on, so I could work towards my goal of being the best I could be. I took hypno birthing classes wanting to learn about different ways women manage birth. Suddenly I was sleeping again when before I hadn't slept properly since my sons birth, hypno birthing classes were so relaxing that I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I started to use the techniques to go to sleep.  I used the calm down methods when my son created chaos, and suddenly found myself yelling less.
Instead of flaring up and yelling at my partner I just stopped getting mad, after I did my three day doula work shop with Cathy Duab, the information she told us about how anger effects our body had such a profound effect I found it very hard to get angry.
I started to grow my own vegetables, brought a carrier and began to carry my son enjoying him more as I listened to him point out the water, sing, hum and cuddle me. The carrier made a huge difference. I started to smile more and stress much less. I began to think and research everything, I started to stop and actually listen when someone talked instead of
Don't get me wrong I still have awful days where the house is a mess and I just want to run away with a glass of wine.  But I am still learning, and I don't think I will ever stop.
I came into this expecting to get my certification then go on and become the Doula I wanted to be, instead I turned into a new person, a person always trying to be a better person, a better mum, a better doula, and a better friend.